Monthly Archives: February 2014

But I love you more!

As a single parent we make sacrifices everyday. From losing sleep to giving up the only meal you’ve had time to eat, these are just some of the joys of being the only parent. For the past two years I have made the sacrifice of being a stay at home single mom. While this has been a great opportunity to bond with my Ani my two year old I’ve also accomplished finishing up my degree in business administration. While this should be the happiest point in my life, I’m stricken with guilt.

The thought of being away from ani for such long hours makes me feel guilty. Will the daycare treat her the same as I? Will she be afraid of me leaving her with strangers? Will our bond grow cold? All of these questions are circling through my head. I am not alone however, many single parents feel guilt of having to go to work. We feel as though we are super heroes because we have been doing it by ourselves for so long. But it’s ok to welcome help sometime.

That guilt that we feel is just another form of our unconditional love we feel for our children. In the long run, our children will express their admiration and appreciation for our hard work! So let’s get rid of out guilt and pay ourselves on the back for a job well done! Remember single parents rock!

The adventures of the terrible twos!

From the day we bring our babies home from the hospital we are attached. Cuddling has always been my favorite, especially with ani; my two year old. With my oldest girls I always went straight back to work full time which meant my girls were in daycare from young ages. I am Ani’s daycare, so this means I get to
Notice the tantrums and fits that she has become accustomed to.

The age difference between ani and my oldest girls is quite significant. There’s eight years between Ani and the second oldest and 11 yrs between Ani and my oldest. Because of this age difference she has become accustomed to getting her way and goes into a rage without getting it. You can imagine how embarrassing it was to have her screaming in the middle of the aisle for a snack cake. I was at a lost for what to do with my sweet little angel turned monster. I had to put a plan into action and quick.

After doing a little research, I found that my tactic of leaving the room until she calmed down was actually doing more harm then good. When she is going into a rage, she needs my comfort so she can know she is not alone and I’m here for her. The anger they feel with these tantrums is not a form of manipulation, it is actually something they are not in control of. This explains why she reacts differently if I comfort her, rather than leaving the room.

In no way, shape or form am I saying that any one parenting tactic is better then the other, however in my particular situation this comforting solution has worked very well for ani and I. While she still has occasional tantrums, they definitely have decreased and are less mild. Toys are no longer being thrown and she is starting to gain an understanding of the consequences of her outburst.

How far is to far?

Is there a certain amount of years apart we should have our children? There is no correct answer for the question. It really depends on what we as individuals want. I have three girls Kia age 14, rya age 10 and ani age 2.

These are pretty significant age gaps and I can definitely say my household is always very interesting. While Kia is interested in anything socially connected, rya enjoys pretending to be different characters and reading Percy Jackson. As far as interacting with each other however, that’s a no go. Ani, the toddler seems to receive nothing but constant attention and love from both girls. This has led me to believe that the age gap of four years between the older girls is hindering the possibility of a positive relationship. Being an only child for four years and then welcoming a new baby I believe would be scary for most kids.

As a single parent, it is important for me to correct the relationship issues between my older girls. Love and compassion is a major component of happiness in my home. Where do we find the balance when the children have such big gaps in age? I really appreciate any feedback and suggestions. Until next time remember single parents rock!!!!

Ring the alarm!

Oh the teenage blues have arrived! Where did teaching our children responsibility go to? My fourteen year old believes that because I have been waking her up since six I should continue to do. Do you agree?

About a month ago, I decided it was time for her to start waking up by herself. It made sense to me because soon she will be old enough to work and drive. This would be part of teaching her responsibility or so I thought.

But here I find myself feeling guilty for her waking up late. Big no no. As a single parent it’s hard not to give in to guilt trips because we already feel guilty for being a single parent. But believe it not standing firm on your word will make your child more appreciative of the you in the long run.
I would love to hear feedback, maybe you could tell me of your experiences and how you handled it. Until next time remember single parents rock!!!!

Help! I need more hours in the day.

Where in the world do all the hours in the day go?¬† That’s the million dollar question for many single parents. With work, school, dinner, the kids sports schedule finding time for ourselves can be quite difficult. the key to finding time for ourselves is to start planning.

now I know your probably saying “really? don’t you think I know this. But I mean really sitting down and writing our schedules out for the week. In those schedules we have to set aside an hour or so for ourselves. Instead of fixing the kids lunch in the mornings prepare them at night and refrigerate.¬†Stop feeling guilty about letting the laundry go unfolded until tomorrow and sit down and relax your feet. A relaxed single parent is more productive at dealing with stress.

Having a night out is not a felony offense, so don’t let the guilt of being away from your kids keep you locked in the house. everyone deserves a break and you deserve it even more. As long as you have a trusted childcare provider nothing is wrong with you going to enjoy yourself.

I’m going to start my calendar this week and I hope to hear from everyone about how their schedules and time to themselves worked out.

Single parents rock!!!!